We enjoyed breakfast in my bed and I wrote in my journal while you played with the marbles Grammy sent for Christmas. You placed each one back in the little sack they came in and then, turned it upside down so you could start again. I wrote this prayer: "Dear God, with your help I will let go the struggle and provide the gentle, loving care needed to thrive and have a wonderful year." Amen. We were watching PBS and when the announcer said: "What's coming up next?" you answered "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" :)
8:15 am "It's snowing on the ball." Your first snow sighting :) I asked who you would you like to see today and you smiled a big beautiful smile and said: “Jessie?!” Of course I said "Yes!" I had just spoken to Jessie's Mom and made a plan to go see Cotton the Clown at Caribou Coffee. You were happy to see Jessica and Monica, but it was too crowded for your liking. Eventually the crowd thinned enough for you, Jess, and Monica to sing and dance. You wore your favorite red dress for the last time... You are growing so quickly into a very unique and independent person.
“Fun requires a little dance music!” ~ Sally Huss
Wednesday, March 11, 1998 - First time dandelion blowing
Friday, June 12, 1998 – Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel “Hello
Ocean I see you”
June 15, 1998. We sure Did bop around CT that trip, didn't we? That doggie is Hammer overseeing "Snuggle time with Daddy" at Uncle Bob and Aunt Kerry's before heading to Grammy and Grandpa's
June 16, 1998 We walked around Olde Mistick Village and I bought you your first harmonica and you made your first ever wish in a real wishing well. It was also your cousin's high school graduation day.
June 17, 1998 We visited Napatree Point twice! First with Grammy and Michelle by walking out from Watch Hill and later on Grandpa's boat. In between we met a whole gang at Pizza Works. You were trying to catch some rest time in the middle of all this, so while you were sleeping I went the the McDonald's drive through and got you a happy meal, which at the time, was your favorite. You wouldn't think so by the expression on your face in this picture, but next to it in my journal I wrote: "I just love your hair, your expression, your hands, your beautiful features eyelashes, eyebrows, lips. Everything about you is so perfect, pure and WONDERFUL! OK, so Mommy didn't cut your bangs very well, we are still both perfect!"
Wednesday, August 12, 1998 Exercise class 10:15 – 11 am at Cary Community Center and then you asked if we could “walk in woods to see the animals”. I asked you "what animals you wanted to see and you said "the lizards" We walked the whole Swift Creek Trail at Hemlock Bluffs. No juice, camera or snacks, just us! When we made it back, you ask "could we go inside that building and cool down" so of course we did . You are so smart. A bright shining example of being at peace and Divinely...
"Rafting on the River"
Heading Home
Dad's One Day at A Time AA book
Nov 29th “Look Mommy! It’s a ‘shoe sled’!” (skate)
You and Amanda both took late naps and I rested for awhile too, then we played out in the back yard with Uncle Johnny, Ryan and Michelle. We took a little trip to a nearby nursery to see the cool - and very big - wooden train, and the Christmas display. They were even toasting marshmallows, but your favorite thing, of course, were all the electric trains they had running about. It was pretty near impossible to get a picture of all of you looking forward at the same time, but we had fun trying :)
Afterwards, we went to Starbucks for cookies and coffee, then back to their house for some much needed rest, dinner, playtime, and finally, bedtime. xoxoxo Sweet dreams xoxoxox
8:15 am "It's snowing on the ball." Your first snow sighting :) I asked who you would you like to see today and you smiled a big beautiful smile and said: “Jessie?!” Of course I said "Yes!" I had just spoken to Jessie's Mom and made a plan to go see Cotton the Clown at Caribou Coffee. You were happy to see Jessica and Monica, but it was too crowded for your liking. Eventually the crowd thinned enough for you, Jess, and Monica to sing and dance. You wore your favorite red dress for the last time... You are growing so quickly into a very unique and independent person.
“Fun requires a little dance music!” ~ Sally Huss
I first noticed the artist Sally Huss' workshop in downtown Raleigh's City Market. We have been discovering lots of interesting places all over Raleigh, Chapel
Hill, Durham and Cary. But, since you were not even 2 years old, what choice did you have? ;)
January 16th
"I walked into the guest bedroom to see what you were doing so quietly - and there you were, ever so gently, BEING with Angie."
Thursday Feb 5, 1998 While
watching favorite videos you said
things like “ride boat?” then saw a sail boat and said “it’s so pretty”
Friday, Feb 6th new
words: “vegetable” and about the candles at breakfast “they’re so pretty”
Thursday, Feb 12, 1998 - A big day. We took down your crib and literally kissed it goodbye and readied your big bed. “I need to
walk with my piggy toes” meaning barefoot, of course J
Sunday, February 15th
I wrote that you said “Kitty behave” and “I love you” and was walking
around on tippy toes with just a diaper on. Looks like a little cupid J
9:45am”
Wed Jan 18th – Caribou
Coffee – You were ready to go at 9:30 (it must have started at 10 am and
was like 10 mins away J ) – You said: “I get in Mom’s car?” so we ran a
couple of short errands first, went to the grocery store to drop off and pick
up pictures and then off to see Miss Cotton!
Feb 25th – Walking in late afternoon/early
evening time to go home for dinner – I asked “who’s in charge anyway? Answer: “Biddy” J friends called you that for a couple of years.
Feb 26th – You decided we would stroll up
to my dentist appointment. While walking I began to sing, but you said “no singing” so I
stopped, walked around to the front of the stroller and asked, “Would you like
to just be alone with your thoughts?” and you said “yes.” – Not “yeah” or “ok” or
“no” but "Yes"
Sunday March 8, 1998
8:50 am “Daddy plane fly away.” San Jose til the
19th
Me: “I
know. I miss him already.” and you, without missing a beat: “Me too.”
Tuesday, March 10th “I see the horsies. They say…” and then made the
sound.
Wednesday, March 11, 1998 - First time dandelion blowing
Grammy and Grandpa both came down for your Birthday. One of
the things we did was take them to City Market and Pullen Park on the 23rd.
We did a gratitude list as prayer time while rocking. How incredibly healing
for both of us. Lots of giggles.
Tuesday, March 24th Little Bear “How ‘bout PB
& J cookies for lunch ? & fish cookies for dinner”We were already
having cookies in crescent moon and star shapes for lunch today!! J
5:30 “Oh I’m having a bad day.” Mimicking Little Bear
Wed, Mar 25th Kiss attacks!!
Sat, March 28th entry: “First large yellow &
black butterfly of the season on the walk back from Monica Vermillion’s
Birthday Party.” – Now we know it is a swallow tail and every year since then
you call all of them “Sunkissed” J
Monday, March 30th – Made 2 stepping stones J
Wednesday, April 1st Bright red tulip in the back yard AND a bright blue bird
Sunday April 26th You wanted to “ride in Mommy’s car” – so we did! We
took off and headed for Chapel Hill. Stopped for coffee at Caffe Driade, and
there we stayed. It was such a gorgeous place to walk and explore. Loved it!
May 6, 1998 – Purple Puddle!!! J - Where or where are my Purple Puddle Pictures?
And the ones from lunch at Sarah P. Duke Memorial Gardens - guess I'll add those at a later date :)
And the ones from lunch at Sarah P. Duke Memorial Gardens - guess I'll add those at a later date :)
May 12, 1998 – Wood Play delivered the new playset. Yay!
May 19, 1998 – Walk around Regency Park “feed ducks” then to see your Daddy at Tangram
June 7th 1998 – While throwing rocks at a pond,
I said "good throw" and you said "Thank you, Mommy." And not long after said "Good throw, Mommy" too cute! I love it!
June 9th Made excellent chicken dinner with
rosemary from my herb garden with rice & salad.
Wed June 10th Apologized very politely
for knocking over your plate, and saying “Oh dear” lately. More like Little Bear does, as opposed to Piglet. :)
Thursday, June 11th “We’re having an apple
together, Daddy.”
Early morning at your cousins in Simsbury, CT
June 14, 1998
June 14, 1998June 15, 1998. We sure Did bop around CT that trip, didn't we? That doggie is Hammer overseeing "Snuggle time with Daddy" at Uncle Bob and Aunt Kerry's before heading to Grammy and Grandpa'sJune 17, 1998 We visited Napatree Point twice! First with Grammy and Michelle by walking out from Watch Hill and later on Grandpa's boat. In between we met a whole gang at Pizza Works. You were trying to catch some rest time in the middle of all this, so while you were sleeping I went the the McDonald's drive through and got you a happy meal, which at the time, was your favorite. You wouldn't think so by the expression on your face in this picture, but next to it in my journal I wrote: "I just love your hair, your expression, your hands, your beautiful features eyelashes, eyebrows, lips. Everything about you is so perfect, pure and WONDERFUL! OK, so Mommy didn't cut your bangs very well, we are still both perfect!"
Wed, June 18th Grammy took us to the aquarium – her treat – she’d bought a grandparent’s pass. This week in CT/RI, Karen was working at
Dylan’s and Ken at Water Street. We went to dinner
at each restaurant so we could see them, and GoFish near the aquarium, but you were far more interested in the big fish tank, than eating dinner. Now you just want to see the dolphins. In hindsight, it makes sense that you were overwhelmed from all the running around, seeing and doing...
Sunday, June 21st, was Father’s Day – journal entry:
“Moonrise and sunrise at home. Watered indoor then outdoor plants. Laundry.
Monday, June 22nd We went to the
Flower Cupboard in downtown Cary and then to see Daddy at work and then to Bond
Park. More running around it seems, but you did say: “What a beautiful park.” J
Wed, June 26th – Learning from watching Little
Bear “I think so” and “Of course!”
We played together and with friends throughout that hot summer, and my journal entries decreased to new words and phrases and trying to "catch up" on all the fun we had. From playing in the "tree fort" part of your swing set to visiting friends and the arboretum.
We continued to find a balance between rest and fun. Sometimes we spent too much time at classes and with friend. At other times, we kept it simple and simply walked in puddles while it rained.
Mixin up some Jello eggs, July 17, 1998
Sunday afternoon, July 19, 1998
Making stepping stones and teaching you how to swing. I wrote in my journal that day that I looked tired and wanted to be more energetic and able to do cartwheels again. Check! :)
July 8, 1998
July 11 journal entry: I asked if I could climb into bed with you after your nap and you said: "sure Mommy. Now close your eyes and pretend to be asleep." Always fun cuddling with you, my love.
Lovin' my Birthday cake, July 13, 1998
Mixin up some Jello eggs, July 17, 1998Sunday afternoon, July 19, 1998
July 28, 1998
I love how precious and serious you look in this series of pictures.
July 30, 1998 We went back to see the water lilies at the arboretum, per your request. But this time we went spur of the moment, no camera, just peacefulness.
August 1998 "Flying into August" on your favorite (red) swing :)
Monday, August 3, 1998 - Daddy left on a trip to CA, but fortunately, Mandy called and invited us to Pullen Park for the day. Well, I wrote fortunately, but it was crowded and warm and you had fun, but also needed some quiet time, so while everyone else was picnicking at the tables, you played in the sand under the shade of a big tree. Even then, I can remember wishing our "friends" would stop trying to force you to be with (and like) their kids. It just wasn't your thing. You enjoyed the music and being around your friends, just not all the hurrying about. I so get that
Tuesday, Aug 4th You: “I need to have a
pillow fight." Me:
“Want some help?” You: “Oh yes!”
Sat, Aug 8th I saw a hummingbird! Not just whiz
by, but flying about the plants I'd placed near the hammock to water for MarySue while she was out of town. You were taking a nap at the time, but we would soon see them together. Your Dad came home for the weekend and then left on yet another trip.
On Aug 10th, I got up when he did and got everything ready for us to go on an adventure to Wrightsville Beach. When we arrived, however, you had absolutely no interest in actually walking on the beach. So, we went to the Railroad Museum in Wilmington instead!
Much better choice for you at this time. This was where we found and bought your Thomas t-shirt, which became your instant favorite and was for as long as it fit. Years!!
Much better choice for you at this time. This was where we found and bought your Thomas t-shirt, which became your instant favorite and was for as long as it fit. Years!!
Wednesday, August 12, 1998 Exercise class 10:15 – 11 am at Cary Community Center and then you asked if we could “walk in woods to see the animals”. I asked you "what animals you wanted to see and you said "the lizards" We walked the whole Swift Creek Trail at Hemlock Bluffs. No juice, camera or snacks, just us! When we made it back, you ask "could we go inside that building and cool down" so of course we did . You are so smart. A bright shining example of being at peace and Divinely...
Thursday, Aug 13th while at Hannaford (grocery store) you: “Oh my goodness! Look at that Mommy. What is it?” Mommy: “It’s a planet.”
August 18, 1998
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August 14, 1998
August 18, 1998
August 24, 1998 - It is such a joy to hold you in my arms and snuggle and rock you before you fall asleep. Nap time and bed time are going much more smoothly, now that I have learned to settle myself and be with you completely. Instead of trying so hard to find time for myself to meditate and pray, it occurred to me to do it while holding you. Thank you, and thank you, God, for a peace-filled day at home on our deck.
ginger crinkle cookies and milk. yum!
We flew up to Connecticut on September 2nd. Shelia brought us to the airport in Raleigh, and of course Grammy picked us up. Here are a few pictures of the first few days of that trip:
"Rafting on the River"
Grammy and Grandpa's
Thursday, September 10, 1998, Relaxing at home...
September 10th 1998: you wanted gardening gloves on so you could make
mud pies with me !! J “
Sept 25th thru 27th Grammy & I
went to a Women’s Spiritual Retreat at Pavillion International in Mill Springs
NC. On the 29th Grammy went back to CT and you wanted to go too. ME too sweetie, me too.
Dad's One Day at A Time AA book
October 1998: From the movie Pooh’s Grand Adventures: “It’s
Autumn! A time of hot chocolate morning and toasty marshmallow evening and best
of all leaping into leaves!!”
Nov 4th 1998 “L”s are now very clear, as in
“clock” and "flower".
We had lots of fun in the leaves this week before Thanksgiving. Piling them up high and then jumping in them or sliding into them. We made a piles both around your little slide and at the end of and at the bottom (in front of) the big one. And a few times I piled the leaves way up the big one and we slid into them and through them. We even made LEAF Angels!! This poem was the next thing written in my journal, partly because we have a poster of it and I love it and you so much xo
You enjoyed helping both of us with our tasks of the day. As soon as the turkey was in the oven, you started helping me with Christmas decorations. Here you are absolutely floating around the room giving James (a Thomas the Tank Engine train) a ride in Santa's sleigh. All of the excitement made you ready for a nap just about the time Thanksgiving dinner was ready. That was fine by me, since you preferred your pbj anyway. xoxox
This is such an amazing look into your mirror of JOY!!
“ABC’s of Children”
Amazing, acknowledge them.
Believable, trust them.
Childlike, allow them.
Divine, honor them.
Energetic, nourish them.
Fallible, embrace them.
Gifts, treasure them.
Here now, be with them.
Innocent, delight with them.
Joyful, appreciate them.
Kindhearted, learn from them.
Lovable, cherish them.
Magical, fly with them.
Noble, esteem them.
Open minded, respect them.
Precious, value them.
Questioners, encourage them.
Resourceful, support them.
Spontaneous, enjoy them.
Talented, believe in them.
Unique, affirm them.
Vulnerable, protect them.
Whole, recognize them.
Xtraspecial, celebrate them.
Yearning, notice them.
Zany, laugh with them.
On Thanksgiving Day, Daddy made a turkey - which you were very curious about, as you can see in this picture:You enjoyed helping both of us with our tasks of the day. As soon as the turkey was in the oven, you started helping me with Christmas decorations. Here you are absolutely floating around the room giving James (a Thomas the Tank Engine train) a ride in Santa's sleigh. All of the excitement made you ready for a nap just about the time Thanksgiving dinner was ready. That was fine by me, since you preferred your pbj anyway. xoxox
Nov 29th “Look Mommy! It’s a ‘shoe sled’!” (skate)
Dec 2nd “This is one big sock!” (It was your Christmas stocking J)
We watched Toy Story and you said “Buzz was sad Mommy,
because he couldn’t fly out the window. I think he’s said because he’s in the
toy box.”
Dec 5th we flew up to CT to see family and received a VERY warm welcome from your cousins in Simsbury, as well as, your very first candy cane. So, of course, no nap today, since you were having way too much fun playing with Ryan, Michelle and Amanda, and all of their toys.
Dec 5th we flew up to CT to see family and received a VERY warm welcome from your cousins in Simsbury, as well as, your very first candy cane. So, of course, no nap today, since you were having way too much fun playing with Ryan, Michelle and Amanda, and all of their toys.
We helped them take their Christmas portrait, had a yummy dinner and you all took baths before going to sleep without much trouble at all. I got to spend a little time with my brother and sister-in-Law :), your Uncle John and Aunt Christine. Good thing we rested because... you guys got up very early the next morning!
Here you all are watching the Snowman video we brought and eating eggos at about 6:30 am. We all went to church about 9 am but you were not interested in staying quiet and still, so we walked around and found a playground. Later, while Michelle stayed for Sunday school, the rest of us went out for donuts - another first for you. You thoroughly enjoyed the "pink one" you chose for yourself.
Monday, December 7, 1998
You and I walked Michelle to school and then Aunt Christine, Amanda and Ryan drove us over to Uncle Bob and Aunt Kerry's - so this journal entry was titled "From Uncle John's to Uncle Bob's - Simsbury, CT to Hamden, CT". We stopped at McDonald's on the way and thought we'd picnic on the deck at their home on Nutmeg Hill Road. It was such a gorgeous day for December in CT - nearly 80 degrees! Good thing it was, because when I went to open the garage door, I accidentally locked it. oops... We had to find another way in. By the grace of God, and totally unknown to Uncle Bobby, the sliding glass door leading into the basement had been left unlocked. This picture was taken shortly after we got inside. Guess what you are looking at under their tree? yep! Another electric train for you to enjoy...It was for this reason that I simply had to find one for us. Tradition!
Tuesday Dec 8 and Wednesday Dec 9 were both nice, quiet days spent at "home" - at Uncle Bob and Aunt Kerry's home, that is. Brendan is 10 years old and Harrison is 5 years old and both are very sweet. Brendan really likes his computer, so he loved it when your Daddy arrived and brought "Riven" with him to play with and leave for Brendan. Daddy was working in Trumbull, CT for the week and stayed over night with us both Tuesday and Wednesday night. Oh! Monday evening you were taking a little nap and Sandy woke you by licking your face. You didn't care much for that! But in his defense, you were in his spot on the big green leather couch :) On of the nights, Uncle Bob, Brendan and Harrison brought back a puzzle from Harrison's school book sale: Clifford The Big Red Dog. I think it was to make up for how startled you were when Sandy licked you awake :)
On Thursday were transitioning... we said goodbye to Uncle Bob and Aunt Kerry, and Brendan and Harrison, as they headed off to work and school. WE took our time getting ready and packing to leave, as this would be your Dad's first day of vacation, even though it was our 5th day.
We drove from Hamden to Pawcatuck and you rested, since naps have not been as regular as they are at home. It felt powerful for me to step into the house where I grew up, especially with no one at home yet, and I began to cry. I had no way of knowing then what growth this leg of the trip would bring my way. We checked into our hotel in Mystic and then went back to Grammy and Grandpa's for dinner.
On Friday, You and I went out exploring in Essex. First we walked around at the train depot - cold. Then we went to see the museum in downtown Essex, but it wasn't open yet, so we got a coffee and cookie and checked out a toy store first. THEN we went to the Connecticut River Museum. They had a whole ROOM filled with electric trains. Cool!
December 21st 1998 "2 and ¾"
Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day: Looking very serious about your new dollhouse from Santa.
I often wonder what you are thinking about. I want to enjoy 1999 fully, spend more time sitting on the floor playing with YOU
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